1. Shell suits…

Let’s get the worst out of the way, shall we?

Shell suits.

Most people who lived through the 80s would probably place the shell suit in their top 3 fashion crimes of the 80s (actually, make that ‘of all time’).

Shell suits were one of those colossal fashion faux pas that a lot of people are guilty of having been a part of. We knew it was wrong. We knew they were ugly. And they weren’t very practical to wear either as they made a swishing sound every time you moved.

Plus, sweat in them and invent your own unique form of ‘smell’ that stayed with you (and everyone around you) for a while.

But we wore them anyway. ‘Cos everyone else was, innit?

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2. Puffer jackets…

These days, quite a few people aspire to the thin look or the six-pack look.

However, back in the 90s, a lot of people aspired to the Michelin Man look. For some reason, people wanted to appear bigger than they actually were.

Cue the puffer jacket, a jacket that looked like lots of air had been pumped into it.

And the more puffed up it looked, the more fashionably-credible it was.

One thing though: it definitely kept you warm.

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3. Scrunchies…

Never understood them. Never will. Though, ahem, I did, ahem, use them in secondary school.

I had a perm. Shoulder length. It called for a scrunchie.

I was a teenager. That was my excuse.

Teenagers could be forgiven. But it’s quite another thing to have grown women (some who had teenagers themselves) sporting the stuff. And as if one scrunchie wasn’t enough, they’d add another for full effect with no regard for the fact the color of one scrunchie SO did not match the other.

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4. Acid wash jeans (stone wash jeans)…

If anyone, and I mean anyone, had worn a combination of a scrunchie and a pair of acid wash jeans, I would have jumped off a bridge.
The 1980s was when the world went doo-la-li with acid wash jeans. And you got extra brownie points if you donned the up-and-down look (i.e., acid wash jeans (or skirt) with a friggin acid wash jacket). You’d get a personal letter from the Queen if you did that. Oh yeah.

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5. Shoulder pads…

These pieces of soft foamy material made a woman feel rock hard. Yes, dah-ling, shoulder pads were the epitome of power dressing and all things stylish back in the ‘80s.

Remember Dynasty? And Dallas? Remember Alexis Carrington? And Krystle? Those women took shoulder pads and ran with them, didn’t they? (that’s if they could squeeze themselves through the door what with pads that wide)

Dresses, jackets, shirts, you name ‘um – people were walking around like NFL football players.

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6. Platform shoes…

In the 90s, what a lot of women wanted, I mean really really wanted, was a pair of platform shoes…

…thanks to the Spice Girls.

Platforms were kind of like clogs, but without the wood, like trainers …but on ladders.

They also doubled up as natural ankle weights, actually.

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7. The New Romantics: men and makeup…

Boy George, Adam and the Ants, Robert Smith (of The Cure). Thank you for the music, lads…but the make-up you guys wore back in the 80s was, well, quite naff really.

Very. With two cherries on top.

Yes, it must have made Avon ladies all over really happy as their commissions must have gone through the roof, but guys, it was naff.

p.s.: Boy George is obviously still finding it a bit hard to let go.

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8. Neon-coloured socks…

These ankle socks came out from the bowels of hell in the late ‘80s.

Bright enough to blind a person, people had a habit of mixing and matching them, so you’d get shocking pink on one foot and fluorescent green on the other.

And that would be cool.

Like really cool, you know.

Daring. Experimental.

They got the ‘mental’ bit right. Spot on.

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Have you noticed that there are several celebrities that often wear black clothing? Most A listers choose this shade over all others, and wear black in almost every appearance they have. Jennifer Aniston, for one. Take a look at her shots, from the professional photographs at the red carpet, to the candid shots you see in gossip magazines. She’ll be wearing black in ninety percent of the pictures. Why? They say black is slimming, that it hides unsightly bulges and lumps. Why on earth Jennifer Aniston would have anything to hide is a mystery, she’s so thin, and so is Kate Moss. She’s another woman on the scene who prefers to wear all black. Maybe they are just making a Johnny Cash statement. You know, paying homage to the man in black?

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Alot of times celebrities will choose a darker shade because of the event they are attending. It doesn’t always signify mourning, or a tragedy of some sort. When it is a formal affair, most celebrities will opt for black attire, so they blend in, and it is a classier, sleeker look than bright colors. Only daring or ditzy celebrities will go bright and bold. Some of them just prefer the color. It doesn’t always have to be because they feel insecure about their bodies. With men, it’s pretty much a given they will wear black, because well, they only make so many different shades for suits. But dresses are all out there, and even if the ladies choose a dress with shimmer, or even full out bling, it most likely will be black.

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Some celebrities feel black is a fashion statement. They will dress in black as a Gothic or punk statement. Vampires are popular, especially with the new movie about them coming out. And punk has been in for a long time now. It can be hard to tell the difference between the two sometimes. The line between is a fine one, and can be blurred. Some would call this mixture of the two “alternative”. That term always makes me think of flannel shirts and cut off army pants. But call it what you want, it’s still the same: Celebrities choose to wear black over most colors. For whatever reason they do it, it looks good on them. And no matter the occasion, formal or casual, you can’t go wrong in black.

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Trinny and Susannah have even designed a pair of panty hose that supports your butt, and gives it a lift, while it smoothes out any unflattering lumps or bumps you may have around your midsection. These are sold mostly in black, as it will give your legs a slimmer appearance. These two ladies swear by black!

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The following individuals obviously have something of a death wish on their hands (or should I say ‘on their heads’):

1. Camilla?…erm…Camilla?…

Ok, shall I go there?

I think I will. Wear a hat like that and you deserve all the tongue-lashing you get.

On second thoughts, you see the man behind her? His expression says it all.

WHAT ON EARTH was Camilla thinking?

Maybe she wore this as a joke – you know?, tongue-in-cheek like? – a bit of a middle-fingered na-na-na-na-na to the Queen, perhaps?

Or maybe she’s just a very wise woman and knows she can’t compete with Diana’s sense of fashion so figured she might as well let her hair (and stomach) down and just do her own thing.

Am I making excuses for Camilla? Maybe she really is that clueless when it comes to fashion.

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2. To Catch a Thief…

Officer, arrest this woman – she stole my bloody dustbin cover!

A pink hat? You call THAT a pink hat? A dustbin cover by any other name is still a dustbin cover. Now arrest this woman this instant.

Officer? Officer, I’m talking to you.

No, I have not been drinking. And, no, I do not need to go to Specsavers. That woman’s got my friggin dustbin cover and I friggin want it back.

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3. La Femme de Toilette…

Oh dear, any minute now and you’ll have a queue of people waiting to use ‘the loo’. Men will want to pee down her cleavage. And women will want to wee on her hair (putting paid to the expression that blondes have more fun. Not this time, lovey).

Or maybe she has a (sad) fetish and likes being peed on. So not hygienic – especially if said pee’rs and wee’rs just had a kebab washed down with a cheap can of cider from Lidl’s beforehand.

Don’t do it, love. It’ll turn your skin into mushrooms.

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4. Puff the Magic Dragon…

I’m convinced this woman is an activist. Must be. Surely.

She’s campaigning against all those cigar companies out there. The cigarette and ashtray sticking out the side of her head …is metaphorical.

Yes. She’s an activist. (go, you activist, you)

That’s my conclusion. And by God I’m sticking to it.

…because the alternative – that she just got up one day and felt like wearing THAT – is worrying and more terrifying than the threat of global warming. Me? Over-dramatic? Pray, tell me, am I the one with a giant cigarette butt sticking out the side of my head?

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5. Granny Funk’itude…

Now who’s been watching waaaaay too much Star Trek and feels a deep urge to change their name by deed poll to ‘Space. The Final Frontier’ but can’t find their birth certificate? Hmm? Yes, you, you funky eccentric granny that refuses to go quietly into the night.

We get that you went to the same primary school as Vivienne Westwood. We do We really do. Honest to William Shatner, we do.

But this contraption spinning on your head??? Come on, now, it’s a bit of a bacon sarnie short of a veggie picnic, don’t you think, grandma? Hmm?

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6. Granny Funky-don’t…

Is one seeing things, hmm? Surely this can’t be the same woman?

…except that now she thinks she’s some kind of ‘unicorn-stroke-antelope-stroke-devilwoman’ mythical hybrid.

Any minute now, her hubby will be her next victim. She will twist one of her horns round him and say “So you think my bum looks big in this, do ya?”

Nice shoes, though, so all’s forgiven. Are those Jimmy Choos by any chance?

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7.  Look Into My Eyyyyes…

I guess you’d have to cover your face with a straw hat like that, love. It looks like a burka gone terribly terribly wrong.

The woman in that pic is thinking “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, there’s a bloody cow chewing on my hat.” (p.s.: not Camilla).

The only hat of its kind ever made. I hope.

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8. Say ‘Blue Cheese’…

This lady, in an attempt to disguise a severe case of chronic body odour she’s had since childhood, has decided to wear a big hunk of smelly blue cheese on her head. That way, her B.O. will remain undetected.

And it’s working.

Now she can fit into society like everyone else.

The End.

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9. Holding onto My Hat….’cos it’s Mine, Mine, Miiiiiiiine…..

Spot the upside-down champagne glass.

Spot the Olympic torch.

And there’s nothing to look so chuffed about, lady. Believe me.

You’re going down for not only wearing a STOOPID hat…

…but for those nails.

Right, where’s me scissors?

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10.) Scarlet O’Ha-ha-ha…

“If you don’t like my hat, you’ll like my boobies, surely. Or my smile.” she says, a copy of London Metro in one hand, an embarrassed clenched fist in the other.

See that car in the distance? There’s a hired assassin in it.

Guess who’s the target?

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Did you know that you can tell the state of a country’s economy by the length of its skirts? I read in the paper the other day that hemlines begin to drop as recessions bite, and rise again when times get better: in the booms of the 20s and 60s, we got flapper dresses and mini skirts, but when economies plunged in the 30s and 70s, skirt lengths followed. At last, a silver lining to all those gloomy business reports: we might be skint but at least our knees will be warm.

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Personally, I think we’re all a bit less sheeplike about things like skirt lengths these days, but I do believe we look for different things when we’re buying clothes at a time like this. It’s a time for going back to basics, seeking out clothes that’ll work hard for our money, instead of one-season wonders that we’ll wear a few times and then get fed up with. We’re looking for timeless styles that we’ll never get tired of wearing, quality fabrics that’ll stay looking good, wear after wear, and versatile pieces we can dress up or down.

It’s a time to invest in the classics: a little black dress like this one, that’ll take you from desk to dinner with just a change of shoes and jewellery; a beautifully-cut black suit like this one, with a skirt and trousers for maximum wardrobe mileage; or a sleek black sweater you can wear with everything from jeans to a suit. You’ll love wearing them now, and you’ll still be wearing them – and loving them – when the credit crunch is just a distant memory.

Its back to black for this season and the response to our new website has been fantastic! The timing of our launch coincided brilliantly with the fact that Black is THE colour to wear for this winter. With the help of great press and lots of word of mouth, we have had many new and happy customers picking up on this trend and certain products have literally been flying off our rails. At times like these when we have all had to pull back on spending, investing in a few good quality pieces seems to be the way forward.

The fashion press and catwalks say its all about texture such as beading, sequins and intricate detailing. Decembers issue of Easy Living Magazine has championed our cause by featuring one of our LBD’s which is now our best selling product!  This most romantic party dress in black net, with a strappy top and knee length puffball skirt ticks many of the boxes for this seasons key looks . The satin sash ties under the bust or at the waist, and a built-in plunge bra means you can hit the dance floor with confidence this party season. Thanks to Easy Living, this dress is quickly flying off our rails so if you have your eye on it, don’t delay!  We’ve also got many more little black dresses on the site as well as lots more coming in throughout November so you can be sure to find the perfect little black dress for you.