Does this computer make my bum look big?
If you thought finding clothes in the right colour and size was tricky enough, get ready for shopping to become altogether more complicated: within a couple of years, scientists say, we could be choosing clothes not just on what they look like, but for what they can do for us. Companies like Philips, Hewlett Packard and Casio are working on ‘wearable technology’, that can turn our clothes into computers, phones, music systems and more, so instead of toting gadgets around with us, we’ll simply wear them.
Want music while you walk? You’ll be able to buy a jacket with a built-in MP3 player. Like to keep in touch? Computer technology embedded into fabric means you could send emails from your coat, via a drop-down keyboard in the cuff. Special fibres could be used to produce clothes that’ll cool you down or warm you up, as required, while with sat nav built into your skirt, you need never get lost again. For the hypochondriacs among us, there’ll be clothing that constantly monitors your heart rate and blood pressure, while paranoid parents can dress the kids in T-shirts with tracking devices (no word yet on whether they’ll be available in adult sizes for straying spouses).
Scientists at Bristol University have even worked on a jacket that can be set to beam out information about the wearer to other people with the same garments, so if you’re eyeing up someone in a bar, for example, your jacket could tune into his and report back that he’s a model railway enthusiast who lives with his mum and sixteen cats. Which should streamline the dating process quite a bit.
It all sounds thrillingly futuristic and Star Trekky, but couldn’t they just have invented clothes that washed, dried and ironed themselves instead? Now that’s what I’d call technology.