If you’re petite or even average height, chances are that long, slender legs are one of the things that would be on your wishlist, should you ever bump into a fairy godmother. While we disagree about whether we’d like curly or straight hair, big boobs or small ones, I’d bet there’s hardly a woman under five foot eight who’d turn down the chance to add a couple of inches to her legs. Luckily – what with fairy godmothers being so thin on the ground – there’s lots you can do to make your legs look longer. So if nature didn’t give you legs that go on forever, try these tips and get the lean, leggy look for yourself.

• Avoid cropped trousers; the horizontal line where they end makes legs look shorter.

• High heels are an obvious way to make legs look longer, but only if you can walk confidently in them. If not, you might as well be wearing a sign saying ‘I’m quite short but I want to look taller’. If you tend to totter, go for a lower heel and a pointed toe instead, so there’s a nice tapered line down to the end of your feet.

• High-waisted trousers and skirts, which are in all the shops this summer, make legs look miles longer, just because they seem to start higher. Short jackets and tops can have a similar effect, as long as you wear them over a slim, sleek bottom half.

• Choose bootcut or straight trousers and jeans, and make sure they’re long enough to cover your shoes, so you get a long, clean line. Skinny jeans and flats are cute, but they will make stubby legs look even shorter.

• Avoid horizontal details on skirts, like dropped waists, tiers, or border trims. They chop you into sections so you look shorter.

• Wearing one colour from head to toe, or even just below the waist, means there’s nothing to disturb the eye, so legs look longer. For the ultimate leg lengthener, you can’t beat well-cut black trousers, or a black skirt and black tights, with black shoes.

• For summer, fashion editors swear by  ‘nude’ shoes (that’s beige to you and me). Worn with bare legs or skin-coloured tights, there’s no colour break at your feet, so legs look long and slender.

Whether you’re dressed in Peacocks or Prada, your clothes – and you – will only look their best if you’re wearing the right underwear. Follow the five golden rules, and you’ll never go wrong.
• Never wear white underwear under white clothes – it always shows through. Instead, choose flesh tones, so the lines of your underwear disappear against your skin.
• Please, please don’t ever wear those plastic bra straps. They might be transparent, but they’re far from invisible. If you don’t like wearing a strapless bra, arm yourself with the stylists’ secret weapon, double-sided clothes tape (available from department stores). When you want to wear a strappy top or dress, just use the tape to attach its straps to your bra straps, so they don’t slide out.
• Never wear a lace-trimmed bra under a T-shirt or any kind of clingy, stretchy top; they’ll completely ruin the line of the top, and make it look cheap. Moulded bras (often sold as T-shirt bras) are the way to go here. They give a great shape and a nice smooth line, and you don’t have to worry about your nipples showing through.
• Thongs are often recommended as the best way to banish the dreaded VPL, but if you don’t find them comfortable, go for seamless ‘boy shorts’, cut straight across the leg. They work just as well, skim over any cellulite, and are a whole lot more comfy.
• A stretchy, flesh-coloured camisole top is the easy solution to tops that are a bit see-through, and knits with a big, open texture.

Want to make your clothes budget stretch a little bit further? The secret is knowing which bits of your wardrobe are worth spending money on, and where you can safely snap up a bargain. So if you’re starting to think about new clothes for  summer, commit these rules to memory, and you won’t go far wrong.

When to splurge
Jacket: Even with global warming, it’s rare that you can rely on day-long T-shirt weather during the British summer, so it’s worth spending a bit on a well-cut jacket, in a neutral colour. A really good one will make every outfit look fantastic.
Trousers: If you can find cheap trousers that flatter you, you’re a very lucky woman. Most of the cheaper High Street stores seem to cut for 12 year olds with no hips, and if trousers don’t fit and hang well, they’re not worth buying. So unless you happen to have the figure of a 12 year old with no hips, better to invest in one beautifully cut pair, in a good quality fabric, than six cheap ones you’ll never really feel comfortable in.
Jeans: Again, fit and cut are everything, and jeans are so versatile that it’s worth splashing out on a really fabulous pair that you’ll want to wear all the time.
Swimwear: If you’re going to be wearing something every day of your holiday, it deserves to be something fabulous. Paying a bit extra also means you’re less likely to find yourself in a row of 20 identical bikinis on the beach.
Bras: Lighter, skimpier clothes mean your shape’s more on show during the summer, so invest in a good, professionally fitted bra or two. With the right bra, you can look 5-10lbs lighter, and it’ll make even the cheapest T-shirt or sundress look ten times better.

When to save
Mac: A light mac is a great standby for drizzly days. You could splash out a couple of hundred pounds on a classic design that’ll last for ever, but though they’ll never date, they won’t exactly update your look either. Head for the High Street, and you can pick up a great mac with this season’s details for about £60. It’ll give your summer wardrobe an instant update, and at that price, it doesn’t have to last forever.
T-shirts: Every summer, magazines run ‘tried and tested features on the classic white T-shirt, and I’ve never yet seen one where the most expensive brands came out on top, especially after washing. The most important thing is to get a good fit for your shape, and you’re as likely to find that for £5 as for £50.
Sandals: Winter boots and shoes are worth splashing out on, because they’re usually styles that last from year to year, but sandals should be a fun, frivolous, one-season wonder. Try Primark and New Look for designer-inspired styles that are so cheap, you’ll want to buy one in every colour.
Bags: When it comes to leather, quality talks, but once the weather warms up, it’s nice to swap to light, summery straw and fabric bags, and that means you can get away with paying a lot less. Accessorize has a great selection, or check out the local markets when you go on holiday.

Mobile phone belt clips…

Who do you think you are? John Wayne?

Oh….. you do.

Well, ah hate ta break t’ya, son, but chu ain’t ever gone be no cowboy. Not even with 3 mobile phones riding your waist.

And with the ear piece you have on, you look like a wanna-be Neo/wanna-be John Wayne/gotta-be-a-loser on Britain’s Got Talent.

Off. Off. Off. Off.

Disney ties…

It’s been *scientifically-proven that men who wear Disney ties were dropped on their heads as children. So, this particular fashion faux-pas IS NOT THEIR FAULT, PEOPLE. Blame Mother.

I’ve written a song for these special, special people:

When you see a guy in a Disney tie
Retract the ‘tut, tuts’, the rolling of the eyes.
Seek within for the love you can give
Paris. Hilton. Elvis. Quiff
(*kinda, sorta. They make great lovers, too.)

Too much make-up…

I can’t see your face, dah-ling. Where’s it gone? Somewhere over the rainbow, you say.

Ha. Very funny.
NOT.
Thanks to the Hansel & Gretel trail you leave in your wake, I know where you live.

Nice flat.

Football t-shirts…

This is obviously a cry for help. Or an invitation to cry along with him. Or both.

The only time you should ever wear a football t-shirt into work is ….well…never.

Not even then.

(p.s: wearing a footie tee under your work shirt is a big no-no, too. DON’T DO IT. Just don’t. I love you too much to KICK YOUR ASS. But I will. If I have to. For the greater good. Queen and Country.)

White socks…

White socks only suit Michael Jackson.
And look what happened to him.

I think there should be a new generation of technically buffed-up, fashion-conscious white socks that are able to scan what a person’s wearing. If the wearer has office drags on, they’d give off a high-pitched Celine Dion shrill. That should do the trick.

But pray, what if the sock offender is a Celine Dion fan?

Then, that’s two offences. Their punishment: her album played backwards. That’s enough to drive anyone crazy.

High-heels…

If a gorgeous pair of Jimmy Choos makes you feel 10 feet tall, then…erm…that’s because they DO make you feel 10 feet tall.

If your head’s touching the ceiling, like you’re in frikkin Alice in Wonderland, then LOSE THE SHOES, PRONTO.

Tone it down to 2-3 inches max. Any higher, then I suggest you join the circus as a stilt walker.

‘Off the mark’ colours…

My eyes, My eyes. I can’t see, Mama, I can’t see.

Uh, oh – it’s neon blue today. Where’s my sunglasses?

If a hot-pink work shirt or tie makes you look like a frikkin anaemic human firefly, then pur-lease put me out of my misery, pretend you’re a stripper and take it off NOW.

(Another damn trip to the optician’s thanks to you. You’re lucky my healthcare covers it. Grrr.)

Image Credits
(img credit: freeparking)
(img credit: cote)
(img credit: Mel B)
(img credit: BC Mom)
(img credit: Xenia Antunes)
(img credit: Katie Tegtmeyer )
(img credit: Malias)

If you thought finding clothes in the right colour and size was tricky enough, get ready for shopping to become altogether more complicated: within a couple of years, scientists say, we could be choosing clothes not just on what they look like, but for what they can do for us. Companies like Philips, Hewlett Packard and Casio are working on ‘wearable technology’, that can turn our clothes into computers, phones, music systems and more, so instead of toting gadgets around with us, we’ll simply wear them.
Want music while you walk? You’ll be able to buy a jacket with a built-in MP3 player. Like to keep in touch? Computer technology embedded into fabric means you could send emails from your coat, via a drop-down keyboard in the cuff. Special fibres could be used to produce clothes that’ll cool you down or warm you up, as required, while with sat nav built into your skirt, you need never get lost again. For the hypochondriacs among us, there’ll be clothing that constantly monitors your heart rate and blood pressure, while paranoid parents can dress the kids in T-shirts with tracking devices (no word yet on whether they’ll be available in adult sizes for straying spouses).
Scientists at Bristol University have even worked on a jacket that can be set to beam out information about the wearer to other people with the same garments, so if you’re eyeing up someone in a bar, for example, your jacket could tune into his and report back that he’s a model railway enthusiast who lives with his mum and sixteen cats. Which should streamline the dating process quite a bit.
It all sounds thrillingly futuristic and Star Trekky, but couldn’t they just have invented clothes that washed, dried and ironed themselves instead? Now that’s what I’d call technology.

Now we’re big fans of catwalk fashion, but you have to wonder sometimes about the designers creations. For every piece of cutting edge style that is unveiled, there also seems to be a equally revolting fashion disaster that leaves unfortunate witnesses shielding their eyes.

We have collected some of the more unfortunate sights ever to (dis)grace the worlds runways. - What were these people thinking?

I was astonished to read recently that half of all adults would consider having cosmetic surgery, and of those, one in five women had thought about a boob job. Maybe it’s the influence of Hollywood, where even the skinniest stars seem to sprout enormous bosoms, but I’m amazed so many women would willingly go under the knife just to get a bigger bust.
As someone who’s not overly blessed in that department myself, I’ve learned over the years that if nature hasn’t given you curves, you just have to create them yourself – or at least, make the very best of the ones you’ve got. If you’re in the same position, why not try some of my tips?
Buy a good bra: I know lots of small-busted women prefer not to bother with a bra at all, but a really good one, in the right size, makes a massive difference. It lifts your bosom up, making it more defined and shapely, and makes your clothes hang better too. Most department stores have trained bra fitters, who can check your size (apparently 80% of us get it wrong on our own) and advise on the styles that’ll suit you best.
Choose the right necklines: Deep round or v-necks emphasise a bony chest, so avoid them, or wear with a camisole or vest underneath. Sweetheart necklines (like a square but with a dip in the centre) work well, creating the impression of  a cleavage, and asymetric and polo necks look great too.
Define your bust: When you’re choosing tops or dresses, shapes that make a feature of your bust can help add curves. The empire line, which is fitted across the bust and then flares out (think Jane Austen), is incredibly flattering on a smaller bust, and luckily there are loads of tops and dresses with this shape in the summer collections. Look out too for tops with a ‘milkmaid’ neckline, where fabric is gathered over the bust and then pulled in to a scoop or square neck – there are lots of these this summer as well. In fact, any kind of ruching or gathering in the bust area is great for smaller busts.
Show some skin: Delicate tops with spaghetti straps will look great on you, so don’t be afraid to wear them. Sleeveless vests that show off your arms and shoulders are a great choice too.
Get a little help: If you want to add inches, there’s never been a better choice of padded bras. At one end of the spectrum, lightly padded T-shirt bras give a nice smooth shape and a little bit of extra volume, while at the other, a fully padded bra can make your bust look a size bigger. If you want a cleavage, look out for bras that are more padded at the bottom of the cup -  they push up your natural assets and make the best of them. Again, a good bra fitter can advise on the best bra for the effect you want. Alternatively, take a tip from Trinny and Susannah (and countless models and actresses) and invest in a pair of silicone breast enhancers. Known as‘chicken fillets’ because that’s what they look like, they look and feel completely natural, and work inside most bra shapes. You’ll find them in most lingerie departments.

If you have any tips, please post a comment and let me know!

Coming soon to a fashion store near you: a mirror that gives fashion advice. Yes, I know it sounds like something out of Harry Potter by way of Star Trek, but apparently this reflective replacement for the bored best friend already exists. Called the Magic Mirror, it works by reading tags in the clothes you try on. Stand in front of it in your potential new outfit, and, like your very own shiny, flat Trinny or Susannah, it’ll suggest the perfect accessories to complement the look, and point out where to find them in the store. Slightly disappointingly, it doesn’t actually speak, only displays its tips on a screen, but then again, do you really want to stand in a changing room filled with robotic voices shrilling ‘What that needs is a nice pair of black heels’?

If you’re not sure the colour’s really you, it’ll tell you what other shades the clothes come in. Got the wrong size? It’ll helpfully summon the right one, without taking ten minutes to finish a conversation about how it was, like, really annoyed when Natasha said that, then rolling its eyes and looking you up and down with the words ‘A 12? Yeah, right’ written all over its face. Which makes it one up on most Saturday girls.

 If you need a bit more feedback, it’s also now possible to send live video footage of yourself in your new outfit, through your changing room mirror and straight to the mobile of your best friend, partner or mum, and then to get their comments displayed on the screen. All very 21^st century, I’m sure, but given the chances of unwittingly zapping a shot of myself in a bikini straight to my boss or my bank, I think I’ll be sticking with a message from the mirror.

Have a look at this other article I found in the Daily Mail and see what other mirror marvels are coming to our stores!

His and Hers
One thing is getting matching wedding rings, even his and hers luggage may be acceptable if you’re French. Wearing matching leggings in multi-plaid is not acceptable people! Surely one of the worst trends from the 1970s.

70s Suits
I know it says you can mail the coupon for a free catalog, but that was from the 1970s. Don’t be disappointed, though, because you can find clothes like these at thrift stores that have been hanging around there every since these models took them off!

Sexy 70s Fashion?
Most men probably think this 1970s style is particularly hot. However, women find it to be one of the worst styles because it objectified them. Not to mention, no woman wants a skirt so short her underwear hangs out. Britney Spears would be all over this style, though. Wait, I think she already is.

Big Hair and Sweater Vests
The style of the clothing in this photo is completely overshadowed by the huge hairstyle. Wow, who knew white women could have a fro like that?

The Brady Bunch
How many men these days would be willing to wear a skin tight pair of pants not to mention a white pair of skin tight pants? Mike Brady and at least one of his sons are wearing white pants in this Brady Bunch photo. Here’s hoping white pants for men stay in the 1970s!

Two Toned Shirts
What is up with the white shirt with dark collar and cuffs? This is a horrendous style that couldn’t have stayed popular too long. At least hopefully that was the case!

Funky Shoes
These shoes are certainly funky and overall they are just ugly!

Slack Suits
The huge collar and super high cuffs on this shirt is just overbearing. It makes the suit look feminine. The solid color is pretty bad, too. I don’t know which style on this slack suit is worse, but the whole ensemble should stay in the past.

Montgomery Ward’s Fashion Magazine
Check out the different fashions that were offered in this 1976 edition of Montgomery Ward’s magazine. You will see some styles that are just awful, especially the super high waisted pants and that canary yellow ensemble towards the end. Wow!

Knit Jump Suit
Just the name of this makes it sound awful, but seeing it in person shows you how bad it really is. Add the two tone suit and this guy looks like a joker in every sense of the word!

High Heels for Men
Are you kidding? These are high heel shoes for men! Sure the likes of Tom Cruise are hoping for this style to make a comeback, but the average sized men and taller are cursing the idea that men should wear high heels…. Ever!

Is this a Suit?
This guy looks like he is going to be hanging out in the house, but this is really a suit. This truly adds a new twist to “Big Pimpin”. Seriously….

White Pin Striped Vest Suit
There should be no vest suits. But, to make matters worse, the ‘70s had white pinstriped vest suits with belts. Oh, this trend is horrendous and just looking at this photo is hysterical.

Paisley Jumpsuit
Both paisleys and jumpsuits were popular in the 1970s. Both were a big mistake!

There are of course many other ‘70s fashions that should stay in that decade, but they are beginning to make a comeback. These include high waisted paints, shift dresses, and more. What goes around comes around so don’t be too shocked if you see any of the styles posted here hanging in your local retail store one day soon!

Why would I want a bikini in February?

That’s the question I found myself asking when I went shopping last week, and found that, in the coldest month of the year, the shops were stuffed with swimwear and sunglasses. It’s very similar to the question I asked myself in August last year, when I went out to buy some clothes for my summer holiday, and found nothing but coats and woolly jumpers. I know the fashion calendar’s always been a bit out of kilter with the rest of the world, but I’m sure that over the past few years, it’s got worse. The Autumn collections used to hit the shops around the beginning of September, when it was often too hot to wear them, but at least you knew the new season was just round the corner. But coats in July? That’s just bonkers.

Why do they do it? I know all the high fashion magazines say you should shop early to get the best things, but who wants to spend a couple of hundred pounds on a coat, and then stash it in the wardrobe for months? By the time you get to wear it, you’re already bored with it. And then there’s the problem of shopping for say, a sudden invitation to a garden party or wedding in August, when your chances of finding a pretty summer dress and some strappy sandals are round about the same as winning the lottery or marrying George Clooney. Not to mention trying to buy work clothes that look vaguely right for the season you’re living in, rather than the one three months away.

I keep reading in the papers that fashion retailers are having a tough time, so guys, here’s a little hint: if you put clothes in the shops somewhere around the time when we might feasibly be able to wear them, we’d be a little more inclined to buy them.

What do you think? Do you like shopping early for the new season, or do shops full of out of season clothes annoy you too? Post a comment and share your view.